afraid to use netflix cuz idk when my friend is gonna want to use it.
it would be like me blocking the tv irl
so my gma has this red light bulb that she turns on every night. i didnt know this before i moved in so the first night, i was walking to the bathroom & i thought i walked into hell and i thought the fake tree in the living room was tobi
i have enough money to go to ann arbor for the rest of the summer
UMich campus better watch out
Some girls and guys have been dealing with the emotional pain of being called “ugly” by others. “Ugly” is a strong word, and the potency of this accusation causes the victim to reflect on the comment every time they see themselves in the mirror, in photos, and in other reflections. Many people labeled as ugly do not know how to deal with the feelings this word raises within them. Taking its meaning very directly and personally, it influences how they look at themselves and how they treat themselves in every aspect of life. After being influenced by a negative comment about personal appearance, many people (especially teenagers) give up on themselves or start to view themselves as “unworthy”.
This article gives insight on how to prepare against those who may insult you in this manner, how to deal with it, and how to help others around you overcome this emotional pain or discouragement.
you understand me
The struggle between wanting to tell your best friend everything bad that’s happened to you lately and not wanting to ruin the great time in their life right now…
Anime has saved my life. No literally, it saved me.
Once upon a time my parents were married. And they had three seemingly normal beautiful babies. I’m the oldest. I was born in 1992 when anime wasn’t as popular as is today. The main series that were out when I was growing up were Dragonball (Z), Sailor Moon, Pokemon, Tenchi Muyo, Yuu Yuu Hakusho and Inuyasha (and a bit later Fullmetal Alchemist). I loved all of these series and I would always watch Saturday morning anime/cartoons with my Dad and help my Mum make breakfast. (The only thing I could make then was pancakes lol) When my little brothers came along they joined the fun too. One big happy family. Peachy.
Things didn’t last between my parents and it was a very tragic end that lasted years. But while it was going on I just didn’t know how to deal with such a situation. On top of the bullying at school and the loneliness, I just didn’t know what to do when I would constantly come home to the smell of alcohol and sex, the constant arguing, and the tears of my little brothers. No love anywhere. I didn’t know that this pain and moment of darkness in our lives would go away. The only way that I thought I could escape this constant cycle of pain and loneliness was to die.Dying would be a constant feeling of nothing.
To me, feeling nothing would be better than feeling the never-ending ache in my heart. It’s scary to think that, with the influence of the world, a child can come up with death as an end to pain. So after setting that as my goal, I got prepared to leave. I would cut into my arm little by little to prepare for the big cut that would end it all. Dying was painful but it got easier with each cut. And when I was upset, it got to a point where I would look forward to the pain. It became a distraction from the pain in my chest and a reminder that it will all end soon anyway.
I was 11-13 when I started cutting. I say 11-13 because those years are such a blur to me. I can only remember the really horrid moments now. Anyway, I didn’t do anything with my family or anybody. I continued to watch the shows that brought my family together once upon a time but broke away from reality. These aren’t the moments that saved me.
I was saved while I was watching Inuyasha and Fullmetal Alchemist. Even today these characters are still my favorite. It was when Sango entered the picture that I really paid close attention.Sango was a a girl about 16-17 living in the village for demon slayers. Her family and herself being demon slayers would go out and ya’ know kill them for a living. When they got mixed up with the main antagonist, Naraku, is when things got really fucked up. Her entire family and village was slaughtered by her brother…who was being controlled by Naraku. Oh but that’s not it. She was even further deceived by Naraku. For the rest of the series, he dangles her brother in front of her face, just beyond her grasp only to be snatched away with some bitchy sarcasm.
As for Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward’s family was all he had. and it was taken away from him with alchemy and death. His father left his mother, his younger brother and him when they were toddlers. His mother died soon after. But they tried to bring her back to life with alchemy. In doing so, Edward lost his brother and his leg but could not handle being in a world without his brother so he sacrificed his arm to bind his brother’s soul to some armor. And throughout this series, Edward never failed to put his brother’s survival before his own.
Crazy huh?
So from the similarities in the characters I bet you can guess how Anime saved me. I could not leave behind my little brothers. How could I do that? Leave them alone to suffer like I did and to take the brunt of the life our parents laid out for us? I saw the determination and love these characters had for their younger siblings, I asked myself where was my love for mine? Sango never stopped searching, never stopped fighting. Edward never stopped protecting, never stopped trying to give a better life for his little brother.
I thought how could killing myself help them…It wouldn’t. So for the longest time, my reason for living has been my little brothers. I’ve always tried to take care of them and I always will.
But when I see that they don’t want to spend time with me (like at all) or say they don’t need me. Just empty promises. It hurts too much.Short list of things they have said to me recently:
“Why are you still here?”
“Move out already…”
“I don’t care about you..”
“I don’t need you..”
My reason for being here has not changed from what I decided it would be then but has grown since then. But to hear this often along with my insecurities, anxieties, and other troubles, I sometimes get shaky in my choice not to off myself.
But hey, Anime has saved my life once. It made me focus on what was more important to me. Maybe it can do it again.
I’m staying hopeful.
(via lets-bitch-about-it)
i wonder how many people really can relate when they reblog any anxiety or depression posts
or is it something they just thought they were close to feeling that one time…
well just start putting in the tags (like I did to this post) for people to follow you. oh and click here. I want to share my experience with the world.
(Source: ai-jou)
"You can be lonely even when you are loved by many people, since you are still not anybody’s one and only."
- Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl (via wethinkwedream)
(Source: thetides, via destructionbreedscreation)
Sorry for the wait…i was drawing hot guys :P
Anime has saved my life. No literally, it saved me.
So when i went to go see my family in Wisconsin over the weekend one of my aunts (that I haven’t seen her in like 10+ years) said to me
“You’ve lost your face since you got fat.”
Then before I could even speak my grandmother says,
“Oh don’t mind her weight, she refuses, she doesn’t like to lose weight”
Who the hell do you think you are to say what I don’t like? You don’t know me. Not only was it bad that my aunt said that but you just had to put in your two cents.
Just because I don’t like to drug myself up like you and my dad just to lose weight doesn’t mean I don’t like to. I do what I fucking want.
If I want to not workout, then cool.
If I want to exercise to be healthy, then that’s cool too.
My weight has nothing to do with anyone that doesn’t have to fucking carry it. Bitches.
