If I burned our bridge, would you jump across the gap between us if you knew it was the only way to get to me?

There are times where I’m sure you will and I know for sure you wouldn’t.

You mean alot to me and I love you so much that even just as we are now it’s hard to let you go. Every now and then I do things I regret and feel like you should have never met me. I remember the bad, and fear the great times because what will happen to me if I cherish my memories of you too much, if at all?

You have crossed me many times and I have made nicks in your heart as well but no matter what we always bounced back. But I feel like now I can’t do this anymore. My feelings flared up again to the point that I said to myself,

“I’m in love with him…” 

I’ve always asked the Lord what am I to do with these feelings of mine and I have no idea what He is saying or if He’s said anything at all. Until I’ve heard Him clearly, all I have done is bury them under the words,

“He’s gay”

This time it’s flared up so bad that I’m clearly having my ninth-tenth thought about staying in this friendship. I’m hoping that this will just blow over and I can go back to ignoring my real feelings tomorrow and giving him more love & support than he should probably get from me. 

One day he’ll probably see this and he’ll probably think that well there’s nothing he can do and that I should just get over it. But by then things will be different. Hopefully, I won’t be like this or worse.

*sigh* Why couldn’t I just have a smaller and less forgiving heart? 

I hate when people close to me (and strangers) expect me to defend my sexuality. 

I’m bisexual with a male preference.

I don’t have tell you how many vaginal filled wet dreams I have nor do I have to tell you how many times I’ve suck a dick to know I like penis. I don’t have to prove I like guys by having sex or getting a boyfriend, so why would I have to do so with a female?

It’s none of your damn business.

*sigh*

(Source: silverhex, via daehyun-s)

It’s grey people like you that ruin our society. If I’m the vile, disgusting thing that doesn’t deserve to live then you are the insignificant creature that’s throwing a tantrum because I love what I love , I love who I am, and I won’t hide it. I will NEVER deny it. Not in front of you and to make you feel better I’ll confess my sins to God and because he loves ME he will be there for me. Then there is you. Hopefully, you get over judgmental self because you aren’t any more loved or any less loved by the One who matters most.

And they wonder why people become begin to seriously dislike homosexuality.

I have this “best friend”. A gay fem boy. Whatever.

His sexuality is so out there and he so defensive that he begins to do the hateful things that homohaters do to gay people.

How much wrong can it get?

My mother adores him. More than her own child. And she believes that he is right.

I ain’t shit. I am wrong. I need to listen. I need to put him first.

That’s what she says…

I’m not a homohater. How can I be when I like females myself?

But I’m seriously starting to dislike people like him. Those who put their sexuality out there so strongly and in a negative way, I just can’t stand it now.

Keep it to yourself or in a blog or whatever.

I don’t go around saying “I love dick/vagina! If you don’t there’s something wrong with you. Fucking hetero bitch.”

With him, it sometimes seem like it’s more than that. I feel like I’m being attacked personally.

I’m his best friend yet I get disrespected more often than not. What kind of sense does that make if it’s not jokingly and both parties know it?

I just had a long talk with my mother and in our situation she only defends him. Never stops to listen to what I have to say. Just assumes the worst about how I feel, calls me Satan (might as well had), and tells me to shut the fuck up. Literally.

I can’t explain to you how much that conversation hurt. I’ve always had the feeling that she has never loved me and only continued to role as a mother because of God and it was the right thing to do. But this….

It’s just more evidence.